I will however try to start and end on some positives. As I mentioned earlier... after having my G1 for a whole five years I finally got my G2 License so I can finally drive myself anywhere. I've taken my bf's car quite a few days this week. I feel like I drive better by myself. Like I pay more attention. Almost like when he is with me I wait for him to tell me what to do but when I am on my own I just know and do it without hesitating. So thats a good thing :)
The not so good stuff. Yesterday I finished my oh so exciting teleprompter shift, and went and approached my manager about a position I had applied for. You see we have two managers. An operations manager who deals with the technical side and a news manager who deals with the reporters, production assistants etc. My operations manager was aware that the news manager was hiring more Production Assistants and when I finished my internship as an editor he recommended that I apply. So I did, and they had me start interning as a Production Assistant. Unfortunately, it was hard for me to ever get full shifts because I was now back at school, and eventually I had to stop. When school ended I asked if I could start again. I kept being told well, we haven't decided who we are hiring yet so we will get back to you. I then started just emailing waiting to find out if I should show up. I felt that now that I could focus a whole eight hour day on the postition I would be able to master it.
I guess they didn't feel the same, and I was told yesterday that they didn't feel it was worth training me for because there were other people who already knew the position. That sucks because I don't know what else I would do, they are still on the old school way of editing, so I'm not as fast as I should be. It's not as easy as Final cut or Avid. So that's bummer number one.
Bummer number two.
I decided to drive to work this morning with my boyfriend since I have never driven that route and there are lots of one way streets and such. I am almost to work driving down a two lane one way street when all of a sudden some crazy woman makes a left hand turn into the left lane coming straight at me. I was so scared. After all I did JUST get my license. I tried to act fast by moving to the right lane but I forgot to check over my shoulder and almost sideswiped another car. Good thing my boyfriend was there and stopped me, so instead I just stopped and let the crazy lady pass since it was a wide lane (there is extra room for parking on that street). That was not a way to start my day. Then I get into work and find out there was too serious accidents on surrounding highways...whats with the weird drivers today?
Bummer number three.
I went to shoppers today to buy margarine and ginger ale (I had an upset tummy too, major indigestion from some pizza with too much garlic dip). When I went to pay my debit card was declined... I had no money left in my account. AT ALL! and I don't get paid until next week. Fortunately I had some cash a friend owed me and paid me that day in my pocket but it wasn't much.
Bummer number FOUR!
My doctor is giving up his practice to work at a hospital and spend more time with his family. That's wonderful for him and I am happy for him. Shitty for me because the anxiety thing is still really new so now I feel kind of alone and scared. I won't have known my new doctor, he or she won't know my history like he does, or my family or anything so he or she won't get it like he does. I have Aunts and Uncles who see him, some who have also suffered from anxiety or stress, family with health conditions like migraines and asthma and other things that link to IBS. I'm nervous. And what if we don't find someone right away? What do I do when I need a follow up? I'm not strong enough to deal with the anxiety on my own yet, and I am still waiting to get into the anxiety clinic.
*Happy Stuff*
Despite all these bummers, for some reason I am in a really good mood. Had a good visit with my Mom, had some laughs at work even though I was somewhat disappointed about yesterdays news, bumped into my aunt who I am somewhat close with but hadn't talked to since before school ended so that cheered me up. and I am trying to set my best friend up with my bf's best friend because they deserve each other! They both need someone that will treat them well. I also got to spend alot of time with my boyfriend today, we priced out some equipment rentals for a video I will be working on for a make up artist, and then cuddled and watched TV and took a nap it was relaxing. It made me happy. The equipment rentals were reasonably priced too. Now if only I could get enough clients to make videos for that I could make a business out of it.
So I guess the day wasn't too bad. I think tomorrow I'm going to start working out my summer goals.That will keep me happy too!
**Dee**
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